Memento Mori: Engineering Decisions in the Shadow of Mortality

Memento Mori: Engineering Decisions in the Shadow of Mortality

The Ancient Reminder

Memento mori—Latin for “remember you must die”—was a practice in ancient Rome where a servant would follow victorious generals through triumph parades, whispering this phrase repeatedly. The purpose wasn’t morbid; it was grounding. Amidst glory and celebration, the reminder of mortality brought perspective, humility, and clarity about what truly mattered.

Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-emperor and Stoic practitioner, opened his Meditations with thoughts on death: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” For him, awareness of mortality wasn’t depressing—it was liberating.

The Philosophy in Context

Stoicism, particularly as practiced by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus, used memento mori as a tool for living well. The logic is straightforward:

1. Life is finite: You have limited time, energy, and opportunities
2. Death is certain but timing uncertain: You could have decades or days
3. This awareness clarifies priorities: Knowing time is limited makes you choose wisely
4. Freedom from trivial concerns: Mortality puts petty frustrations in perspective

The Stoics weren’t pessimists—they were realists who used death awareness to live more fully, act with courage, and focus on what they could control.

Why This Matters for Technical Leaders

As a principal engineer, you face endless demands: competing projects, political dynamics, technical debt, urgent bugs, strategic initiatives, team conflicts, and the relentless grind of meetings. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, to fight every battle, to optimize for proximate goals while losing sight of what matters.

Memento mori provides a mental tool for cutting through noise:

The mortality filter asks: If this were your last year in this role—or on Earth—would this still matter?

This isn’t about working yourself to death or ignoring work-life balance. It’s about ensuring your finite professional energy goes toward meaningful work, not performative busywork.

Practical Applications in Engineering Leadership

1. Choosing What to Build

Engineers face constant feature requests, optimization opportunities, and architectural improvements. Memento mori helps prioritize:

Ask: If this were my last project, would I be proud of building this?

This question filters out:

• Vanity metrics (dashboard no one uses)
• Political projects (to look busy)
• Over-engineering (perfect system no one needs)

It focuses on:

• Impact (solving real user problems)
• Craftsmanship (quality work worth your time)
• Learning (skills and knowledge that compound)

Example: A principal engineer receives pressure to rewrite a legacy system (it’s “embarrassing”) versus fixing critical reliability issues affecting customers. The mortality lens reveals the rewrite is about optics; the reliability work is about impact. Choose reliability.

2. Technical Debt and Trade-offs

Every codebase accumulates debt. Memento mori helps decide what debt to pay down:

Ask: What technical decisions would I regret not addressing if I left tomorrow?

Urgent concerns surface:

• Security vulnerabilities (real risk)
• Knowledge silos (team fragility if you leave)
• Critical system brittleness (impending failure)

Less urgent concerns fade:

• Aesthetic refactoring (nice-to-have)
• Premature optimization (future-proofing)
• Tool modernization (latest framework churn)

Example: Choosing between refactoring authentication (complex, single-person-knowledge) versus migrating to a new test framework (trendy but working fine). Mortality says: document and simplify auth; defer framework migration.

3. Team and Culture Building

Leadership isn’t just technical—it’s human. Memento mori clarifies where to invest in people:

Ask: If I left this team tomorrow, what cultural legacy would I leave?

This shifts focus to:

• Mentoring (compound impact through others)
• Documentation (knowledge transfer)
• Psychological safety (sustainable team health)
• Hiring for values (long-term cultural foundation)

Away from:

• Being the hero (unsustainable, creates dependency)
• Winning arguments (ego-driven, zero-sum)
• Perfect code reviews (bottlenecking, low trust)

Example: Spending an hour teaching a junior engineer debugging skills versus fixing the bug yourself in 10 minutes. Mortality says: teaching creates compound returns; hero work doesn’t scale.

4. Saying No and Setting Boundaries

Technical leaders face pressure to attend every meeting, weigh in on every decision, and be always available. Memento mori gives permission to say no:

Ask: Is this the best use of my limited remaining time?

This enables:

• Declining low-value meetings
• Delegating decisions
• Protecting deep work time
• Taking vacation without guilt

Example: Declining a “strategic alignment sync” meeting (vague agenda, unclear value) to spend three hours doing deep architecture design work. Your time is finite—spend it on work only you can do.

5. Career and Risk-Taking

Mortality awareness also applies to career decisions. Risk aversion keeps people in comfortable but unfulfilling roles:

Ask: If I had five years left, would I stay in this role, or take the leap?

This prompts:

• Pursuing ambitious projects
• Joining startups or new domains
• Learning uncomfortable new skills
• Speaking at conferences despite fear

Regret minimization beats risk minimization when time is limited.

Example: A senior engineer hesitates to move into AI/ML because they’d be junior again. Mortality says: five years of learning AI beats five years of coasting in a comfort zone. Start now.

The Balance: Memento Mori Without Burnout

A critical caveat: memento mori is not about working 80-hour weeks or sacrificing health for career. That misses the point entirely.

The Stoics emphasized eudaimonia (flourishing) and virtue, not grinding yourself into dust. Mortality awareness should lead to:

• Working on what matters, then stopping: No to busywork, yes to rest
• Relationships over accolades: Time with loved ones is finite too
• Health as foundation: Can’t make impact if you’re burnt out
• Joy and presence: Awareness of mortality heightens appreciation for life

Marcus Aurelius wasn’t preaching hustle culture; he was advocating for intentional living. Many of his meditations are about acceptance, letting go, and finding peace—not relentless striving.

Practical Exercises

Morning Reflection (2 minutes)

Start your day asking: What would I work on today if it were my last week in this role? Let that guide your priorities.

Weekly Review (10 minutes)

Each Friday, reflect: Did I spend my limited time this week on work I’d be proud of? Adjust next week accordingly.

Decision Framework

When facing a major decision (project selection, job offer, architectural choice), apply the mortality filter:

• Will I be proud of this choice a year from now?
• Does this align with long-term impact or short-term optics?
• Am I doing this from fear (safety) or purpose (meaning)?

Memento Mori Artifacts

Keep a reminder visible:

• A post-it note: “You have limited time. Use it well.”
• A screensaver with meaningful metrics: days since birth, approximate days remaining
• A calendar showing years, not days—to visualize time’s scarcity

Reflection Questions

1. What am I working on primarily for optics rather than impact? How can I shift toward meaningful work?

2. If I left my role tomorrow, what would I regret not accomplishing? Can I start addressing that today?

3. What trivial concerns am I allowing to dominate my mental energy? How does mortality put them in perspective?

4. Am I making career decisions from fear of discomfort or pursuit of growth? What would I choose if time were short?

5. What legacy am I building through my team and work? Is it worth my finite time?

Conclusion: Living Fully in Finite Time

Memento mori isn’t a call to pessimism—it’s an invitation to clarity. By acknowledging the finite nature of your time, you gain permission to ignore the trivial, courage to pursue the meaningful, and freedom from fear of judgment.

For principal engineers, this philosophy offers a powerful filter amidst complexity. You can’t do everything, fix every system, or please everyone. But you can choose to spend your limited professional life on work that matters—to users, to your team, to your own growth, and to your sense of purpose.

Marcus Aurelius wrote: “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

You’re already living. The question is: Are you spending your finite time on what truly matters?

Remember you will die. Now go build something worth your time.